


Interlude

by robyn_bird



Series: how a girl becomes a wolf [4]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: But in different and terrible ways, But it's important to know where they stand, Gen, Honorable Mentions: Belle and Henry, Introspection, No one is good at this, Regina and Gold are not doing good, See previous work for Belle Warning, Taking stock of emotions and feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 14:49:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16477598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robyn_bird/pseuds/robyn_bird
Summary: Nighttime in Storybrooke is a different beast than the one they face in the daylight.





	Interlude

**Author's Note:**

> Imagine all these scenes happening like a recap at the end of an episode where we have to take stock of our characters and there's a dramatic voiceover? Except there isn't a dramatic voiceover.

She is beautiful. Startling beautiful. Her eyes are kind and open, and directed at him. When she smiles it lights up the room and even though he tells himself time and again she could never love you somehow, beyond all reason, she does. She believes in him, in the good in him, despite all evidence to the contrary, she can look at him not with fear or disdain. She _loves_ him.

But that is never enough is it?

Gold’s eyes open, his body wound tight and filled with anxiety. He breathes out slowly, staring at the ceiling and focusing on making it out in the darkness. But the bad taste in his mouth lingers, the memory startling and fresh as if she is still beside him. He hisses through his teeth angrily, forcibly reminding himself that that wasn’t all. That it didn’t begin and end with her _believing_ in him. She had been on a personal mission to _change_ him, not out of love or any kindness she might have colored her words with (perhaps she had believed it herself at one point but then it mutated and twisted into something else when neither of them were looking). 

Belle had wanted him to change to fit her ideals and wants with little regard to him as a person. As if he no longer had a say in things since becoming the Dark One. 

Gold throws the blankets back and sets his legs on the floor, nearly falling as his left leg gives out. He swears loudly, with purpose. He slams his hand on the nightstand then grabs his cane, heading to the bathroom to contemplate drowning himself but instead only splashing water on his face. When he looks at himself in the mirror he sees Rumplestiltskin, sees him smiling and taunting him. 

He punches the mirror.

* * *

 

_Neal,_

_How could you. How could you. How could you. How could you. How could you. How could you. How could you. How could you. How Could You. How Could You._

_I’m seeing a therapist that says writing a letter is a good way to let out all these emotions that make me feel like I’m suffocating on a good day and drowning on a bad one. I’m trying to be there for our son but every time I look at him all I can think of is how you abandoned me. I shoved these feelings down for so long that I don’t know what they are anymore. When I think of you I can’t get further than that one thought and get stuck on a loop. I tried to rationalize it at first, I tried to understand from your perspective why you would do that. And I came to a conclusion:_

_Fuck you._

_There is no rationale. You didn’t know I was pregnant I could have blamed it on that. You didn’t show any outward signs of being done with me like so many people before you had I can spot those a mile away. Instead you vanished without any way to rationalize this all I can think is that you hated me so much you couldn’t even look me in the eye._

_Coward._

_Fuck you forever,_

_Emma_

Archie looks over the letter for the dozenth time that night, tapping his pen against his knee as he tries to understand Emma’s feelings for her, to better help her navigate them because she so obviously couldn’t herself. She had been resistant when he suggested she start some sessions on her own, half price since he was invested in Henry’s happiness and didn’t particularly care for Regina. Emma wasn’t ready to be a mother, but she at least was interested in bettering herself and being a good influence for Henry, he couldn’t say the same for the Mayor. 

Emma was coming to weekly sessions now, and he was thankful for it. Henry enjoyed having a commonality with his birth mom, and perhaps it wasn’t the best one to have, it was easier for the boy to accept if he could see someone he admired in the same position. 

Though Archie isn’t sold that Henry should be admiring Emma just yet. It was easy to romanticize a person you didn’t know, easier still when you were a ten year old and unhappy at home. 

Archie takes his glasses off and rubs his eyes, closing the folder he had for Emma and tucking it back into the filing cabinet that is disguised as his side table. He turns out the light and leans back in his chair, closing his eyes and listening to the crickets outside the open window. Soothed for a moment. 

* * *

Mary sits up in her bed, a cup of cocoa in hand and papers scattered around to grade and then lessons to plan and books to evaluate for the class to choose from. She can’t focus on any of these things, Emma’s muttering from up in her room and swearing under her breath. She can’t imagine it’s what they had talked about, but Emma had been so mad. She had actually swore _at_ Mary, and that was slightly terrifying but Emma had apologized immediately and looked horrified, then heartbroken. 

“You’re too good for this world, Mary, and people like David know it. He’ll eat you up and spit you back out and it’ll never feel better. Just promise you’ll think about this before taking it further.” 

She feels sick, the idea of not being with David nearly devastating, but just as equally as keeping up this charade. It would never evolve, never end happily, she knew it, but couldn’t bring herself to actually do anything about it. It felt like a vicious cycle, knowing you’re doing something wrong but still doing it. It’s the same thing that she chastised her students for, what kind of example was she? 

Mary buries her face in her knees and covers her head with her blanket, screaming quietly and upsetting the papers around her. 

* * *

Regina often thought that maybe she should have kept one person awake so as to bounce ideas off of. Not that she really had anyone in the Enchanted Forest that she trusted, the first thought had been _“Dammit, if only I could talk to Rumplestiltskin about this”_ and then she had shut that down as quickly as possible.

Good Lord, she couldn’t hardly imagine what this hell would be like if he were awake and around to remind her of all her failings constantly. But she had nearly exhausted all her options in getting Emma to leave and still the bitch was persistent. She was so much like her mother it was almost nauseating, staying around to “keep an eye on things” please, as if they couldn’t all see why she was still here. And having her here undermined Regina not only as a Mayor but as a mother, the one thing that she had finally found peace in. 

_God,_ she couldn’t even have peace here! That was the whole point! A nights sleep uninterrupted by nightmares and anxiety, a day to spend without having to look over her shoulder. And having Henry had given her a purpose, the ability to see beyond herself. Yes, she had her failings, it was the human condition, but she did her best to do right by him. This child who relied on her and loved her, unconditional, oh it was the sweetest thing she’d ever felt. They had their ups and downs as every parent and child did, but it was not a storm they could not weather. 

Until that _fucking cunt_ came into town and she was faced with how deeply she had really failed her son. That he was so dissatisfied as to seek out his birth mother and bring her back here. That he really saw her as a villain that could not be redeemed. Her child, who she had raised and nursed, and did her damnedest to do right by, he saw the decadent villain she was. And that was all he saw. 

Regina lifts a paperweight from her desk and hurls it at the wall, screaming with all her worth, trying to exorcise her demons physically. She could not be a villain here, not in front of her child. But there were other things than villains in this world. It was not so black and white here as it was back home. Here, there were many _many_ shades of grey. 


End file.
